Dheerajs first interaction with a cell phone (owner) was quite nasty. It was in a train. An Indo-Pak match (cricket) was on. A guy was listening into what Dheeraj thought was a transistor and talking into it as well. “Excuse me sir, what’s the score?”

“You ignoramus ( word used in place of several unprintables), this is a cellphone!”

Being always quick witted and a person who thought on his feet ( and sometimes thought about them and used it for thinking as well when the regular attachments provided failed), he recovered in time to ask “Yeah the latest models come with a built in radio receiver”

Fortunately, his destination arrived and he left the mobile holder in sufficient confusion to miss his station.

Having got his latest toy, Dheeraj proceeded to give his number to one and all. He spent the first few days decoding the amount he would pay per minute for the calls he made or received. Having done that, he proceeded to study the way one calls and sends SMS.

Thus Dheeraj survived the rough and tumble of SMS marketing, SMS jokes and even the occassional wrong number which cost him some airtime. He wanted to check the roaming facility, but he wasnt much of a roamer anyway and all this was too much to do without having a single person to call up to.

It was a train and Dheeraj was in his routine commute to office. “Tring a ling a ling a ring”

Having reached his 27th wink, Dheeraj was quite annoyed that he had missed the last thirteen but was happy that someone called finally.

“Hi..” But this voice came from somewhere else and not Dheerajs mouth. In the moment of this realization, he had picked up his phone and was dismayed to find the panel not lighted, that this call was not his at all and neither was the ring from his phone( actually handset in m-lingo). Even though he was sitting, he still thought and proceeded to check his currency units left. That was a quick change. To those unfamiliar with what happened or need commonplace expanations, it is akin to a batsman who on expecting a short one on his nose suddenly finds a yorker kissing his feet. The ball is fended well, and the quick instinct appreciated , but not before the spectators and the selectors and fielders have both laughed at the premeditated shot. And finally Dheeraj received his first call.

“Hi Dheeraj”

Dheeraj was in the middle of a queue the length of china wall all of whom were trying to pay their electric bill.

“Hey how did you know I was here” His mind flashed a siren the moment he said it, but the damage was done. Like we discussed earlier, Dheeraj thought on his feet and even if he were in queues, he generally waded his way out of sticky situations, having found his way into them with consummate ease.

“Hey, that was an Irish joke.” Dheeraj said, resurrecting the situation somewhat.

The days passed and Dheeraj found himself with at ease with cellphone technology, like he had found the transition between heated water and geyser, with the great advantage that cellphones did not explode if left ON for a long time. Dheeraj used it for a variety of purposes for letting his wife know that he was in a meeting when he was not, for letting her know that was stuck in a traffic jam ( and soups) as and when it happened, as a paperweight, as a weapon and a status symbol. The city can be very cruel. Thieves and crooks are usually the best to adapt to new technology (read making a fast buck). Combine this with the fact that cellphones were new technology and Dheeraj lived in the city, it is obvious for even the not so gifted to infer what followed. And what better person than Dheeraj. It was thus, under certain extenuating circumstances ( which I shall reveal at an appropriate time), Dheeraj was relieved of his cellphone. Now Dheeraj was lost, thoroughly lost. But not one to lose heart, he got back to thinking on his feet and decided to call up Dheeraj ( or whoever had his number).

“Hello, Can I speak to Dheeraj”

“Hey, his cellphone has been stolen, don’t call up at this number” Click.

More articles by Neelkantan

1. Amrika Ahoy!!! - A First timer account
2. Cell trouble