I use the term not with a gender bias, but strictly to emphasize somebody whom we wrongly adore, respect, worship and idolize. A false hero could be as much a brawny wrestler fighting in your average WWF fight as the latest empty beautiful woman on the block. It could be a demagogue like Adolph Hitler or a screen icon whose make-up laden skin you can't see underneath. . It could be the most default of your heroes: your parents.v For too long, physical appearance and prowess have been used to associate with a hero. For too long, it has been inculcated into us, that outward appearance rules over inner self. For too long, we have been made guilty of not trying to emulate these false heroes.

The premise of this article rests on this one single sentence. A hero is not born, he becomes one.

In the initial stages of our life, we look upon our parents as our heroes. Whether you agree or not, acceptance by our parents matters a great deal to us, when we are young. There is nothing inherently wrong in this, nor can this be avoided, as it's our natural inclination to do so. But, some people find out as they grow up, that their parents necessarily do not fit the bill of a hero. So they move on, and they yearn and search for new heroes.

Most of the time, they find false heroes to worship. This is not surprising, because there is tremendous pressure on us to confirm. A rock star, a movie hero, a college beauty, a living sports legend are handy because it's so easy to fall in line with the rest of your peer group.

The main reason for this is our insecurity: the need for a prop, however flimsy it might be. From an unseen God to a movie icon whose films we need to watch on the first day, from an ice maiden who has nothing but scorn for us, to the mafia don who rules over people by terror, false heroes come in different sizes and shapes. And we cling on to them desperately.

On the outside, everybody seems to broadly agree, that it's not the color of the skin, the visual appeal or the muscle tone that should be automatically seen as the hallmark of a hero. But do we really believe that internally? Don't appearances matter truly to us?

The answer is a resounding no. We treat beautiful people better than we treat the ugly ducklings. We feel the handsome hunk is infinitely more 'cool' than the bespectacled nerd. We think automatically that somebody who is rich deserves to be respected.

It's okay to judge people with an initial bias. After all, our reflex action is to trust our gut. But, it's definitely not okay to persist with that behavior. It's definitely not okay to refuse to consider the possibility, that our stereotypes might be wrong..

So what constitutes a hero? In a word, it's his integrity. Integrity is the sum of your convictions and how hard you try to live by them. Of course, a correct conviction has to abide by some fundamental laws of nature, like others' right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.

So, the next time you choose a hero, find out what he stands for. And more importantly, find out whether he really believes in it or not. Even more so, if he does something you don't like, don't try to push it under the proverbial carpet. There is no hero without holes. And if there are too many of those holes to your liking, you should walk right through them and away.

Your hero should not be cruel, manipulative and blackmail you through his position of power. Your hero should not be a bigot, a closed minded person and disrespectful. Your hero should not be a liar and a cheat.

Your hero needn't be cool, but he should be just.

The good news is despite all the roadblocks that gang against them, heroes keep emerging. Fortunately, the real heroes are tougher than what the world seem to believe they are capable of. They know how to steer past some obstacles, jump over some more, and decimate some others as they race towards their own definition of success.

In fact, every non-conventional hero works many times harder than the conventional one, and is much more deserving of an accolade.

A true hero is not infallible. He makes mistakes. He falters. He stops some times, but he never gives up. Just like a phoenix.

More articles by Murali Chari

1. The Importance of Law and Order...
2. Do we need a movie on Bhagat Singh?
3. Raja and Rani visit Timbuktu!
4. Worshipping False Heroes
5. The English Media bites the dust
6. "Where We Indians Got it Wrong...."
7. "All this for the rest of us!"
8. Do we deserve the movies we get?
9. The 'friends' you need to dump
10. Raja and Rani visit Timbuktu!
11. "Where we Indians got it wrong….."
12. "When 98 is greater than hundred"
13. "How Easy It is...."